


before you came around

by beware_of_you



Series: only love [11]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Derek Morgan is a big softie, F/F, Henry is ur average toddler, JJ is still v much in love with Emily and misses her horribly, Penelope is the best periodt, Spencer is a v sad v traumatized boi but he tries his best, a lot of fluff, anyway, bau family fluff me thinks, bc i guess the events of 200 wouldn’t take place, but she has her son and her family to help her through it, canon divergence as fuck tbh, fix it fic??? in a way i guess??????, ftw!!, he missed his mom so much, it’s gay, it’s not as sad, mom jj?? mom jj ftw, she’s!! so!! soft!!, the best mom!!, this is just JJ being the best mom tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:07:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25864081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beware_of_you/pseuds/beware_of_you
Summary: JJ finally comes home to Henry 🥺🥺
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss
Series: only love [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1838533
Comments: 3
Kudos: 54





	before you came around

She had flown back to the army base, studying the case files over and over and over again, looking for something she could have been missing. Her mind had been back in work mode, racing with a million thoughts about the information hunt gone awry. She had taken a step back from looking at Integrity from a communications stand point, instead, spent the remainder of her flight looking at it from a profiling perspective. By the time she had arrived at camp, she knew that there was only one person she could trust with what she had found.

She had pulled Mateo Cruz aside during the evening hours, delivered a preliminary profile to him as casually as one would ask about the weather to not draw any suspicion towards them. Matt had been silent the entire time she had spoken, nodding along and smiling as if they had been having a normal conversation, but JJ could tell by the look in his eyes that he believed her and that he would have her back.

She knew he would.

Matt had told her to keep what they talked about on the down low before she had gone to bed. JJ had no issue with the order. As far as she had been concerned, he was the only person on that base she trusted completely, is 100% certain the feeling is mutual. It's nice to know that she always has him to have her back, especially here. Within three days of giving Matt a profile and working over the information with him during lunches and under the cover of nightfall, they have their men.

Tivon Askari and Michael Hastings are apprehended on the base, much to everyone's surprise. Though, no one really thought much more of it when Hastings tried to make a quick get away, nearly breaking Matt's nose in the process and leaving a significant bruise behind (JJ totally pretended to act innocent when she tightened the cuffs on Hastings's wrist far more than she should have. Oops.)

A search through their belongings had outed both men as the informants JJ had been assigned to find in the first place. With several inconsistencies in their alibi and significant evidence stacked against them, Hastings and Askari are both taken into custody with the promise of being locked away for a very long time.

She had never been more happy to see Erin Strauss again in her entire life. The section chief coming over on the base means that JJ's finished with this assignment, that she can finally go home and leave this place behind for good.

She's standing at the doorstep of her mother's house in the middle of nowhere Pennsylvania within the same week Integrity wraps up. All she had to do was a few more papers and she's officially released from the State Department to do as she pleases.

"Mommy!" Henry cries out with a gasp, sprinting full force right into JJ's arms when she opens the door. She stumbles only slightly, wrapping her arms around her son firmly. Her hand cradles the back of his head, tears springing to her eyes because she's _finally_ holding Henry in her arms again. His face is buried in her shoulder, his tiny arms circled around her so tightly it hurts but she could honestly care less at the moment.

She's _home_.

She presses a series of kisses to the side of her toddler's head, easily scooping him up in her arms and holding on to him tightly.

"You're home?" he asks her softly, his voice so tiny and fragile she nearly breaks down right in the middle of her mother's doorway.

She swallows thickly, pressing a firm kiss to his temple with a firm nod. "For good," she swears quietly. "I'll never be gone that long again."

She accepts her mother's hug briefly, breath shuddering out on a sigh at the familiar gesture. It's warm, reminds her that she's really back in the states, that she's here to stay for good this time.

[Not in this town, though. She politely declines her mother's offer for them to stay another night. She can only stand to be in this town, even around her mother, for so long before the memories come flooding back and threaten to suffocate her beneath the weight. Staying here is always way too overwhelming for her.]

Stepping past the threshold of her own doorway feels like that giant weight has been lifted from her shoulders. Henry lets out tiny, almost inaudible snores from against her shoulder, having fallen asleep on the drive back home. He hangs limply in her grasp, but her grip remains just as firm as it had been when he first threw himself into her arms. She holds him as if to assure herself that he's real, that she's finally here for him and that she'll never have to go that far from him ever again.

She ends up laying him in her bed, irrationally fearing to put him anywhere else for the night in case this was all a hyper realistic dream. He immediately curls up into her chest, hogging all the blankets and most of the pillows, his tiny limbs thrown over her haphazardly, mouth hung open in a deep sleep. His snores are a lot louder, a mess of mumbles and incoherent sentences that make no sense come from his mouth as he tosses and turns around.

JJ's heart aches. She's really missed this.

She strokes his cheek lovingly, spends half of her night just laying on her side and watching her son because why on earth would she close her eyes and miss another second of this? She feels content, almost entirely at peace, for the first time since Emily's "death".

He wakes up early in the morning, tiny hands rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He looks over at her, voice small and innocent as he asks for chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast (and, with a face like that, how can she tell him no?) She even lets him eat out in the living room and watch Oswald.

The next few days totally revolve around Henry and what he wants to do. He's an easy child with simple wants and desires; he honestly just wants to go to the local playground most of the time and she's more than happy to oblige that request. When they're at home in the evenings, he colors or plays with his toys quietly. She's taken to connecting her phone to a bluetooth speaker and playing the Fleetwood Mac radio on Pandora instead of the vintage one from Paris (she doubts she'll find that same station again over here, anyway). The music is just as soft and soothing as it ever was in the cottage, almost makes it feel like Emily's there with them in a way.

Penelope comes over, immediately engulfing JJ and Henry in tight hugs. The older blonde loops her arms around her best friend's neck, holds onto her for a few seconds longer because they both need it, to know that they're both here for each other. Penelope's shirt has little pieces of black fuzz from Sergio's fur interlocked into the fibers. It's at least comforting to see, to know that Sergio's definitely being well taken care.

She takes JJ and Henry on a walk to the new ice cream shop a few blocks down, holds onto her godson's hand as he bounces in excitement because it's the middle of the day and he usually never gets ice cream until _after_ he's eaten dinner. But his mom isn't telling him no and his Auntie Penelope is promising to get him whatever he wants, so he's over the _moon_ ecstatic. (And, yeah, okay so JJ isn't currently winning any mom of the year awards for this particular move because Henry's probably going to be awake for at least an hour past his bedtime from the sugar rush, but seeing his face light up in excitement is almost too much for her to take, okay?)

He only orders a cone, and it's covered in rainbow sprinkles and is basically just sugar, on top of sugar, on top of sugar, but it's small enough to just keep the toddler satisfied. He's chatting excitedly to his mother and his godmother about random nonsense until they arrive back at her home, where he runs around the yard and plays tag and kicks around a soccer ball for _hours_.

He crashes on the couch at around 9 o'clock, completely exhausted as he lays across his Auntie Penelope's lap. JJ's at least proud of herself for getting him to eat a majority of his salad (it really wasn't all that difficult; he always eats his veggies like a champ) with the pizza Penelope orders for dinner. She takes her son upstairs and lays him in his bed, giving him a good night kiss before she makes her way back down to her friend.

 _Everywhere_ plays softly from the speakers and it makes her heart clench so suddenly she almost stops on the stairs. Instead, she twists the ring Emily got her on her finger and sits down on the couch just across from Penelope.

"How are you doing, gumdrop?" Penelope asks her in a soft voice, expression sympathetic.

"I manage," JJ ends up replying, nodding to herself slowly. "Take it day by day."

The younger woman takes her hand, gives it a reassuring squeeze. "I'm here if you ever need me, Jayje, okay? You can always come and talk to me. Especially if it gets difficult."

JJ gives her hand a grateful squeeze in return, managing to smile slightly over at her. "I know," she murmurs softly. "I'm here for you, too."

Spencer shows up a few days later out without a headsup.

Even if he's not normally one for physical touch, he doesn't hesitate to go straight into JJ's arms for a tight hug. She gives his arm a reassuring squeeze, letting him know that she's here for him without any words. His soft, sad smile in return is enough for her to know he's grateful for that.

He takes them both to the Smithsonian for the day, carries Henry on his shoulders as they walk along the National Mall. Henry is particularly excited to visit the Air and Space Museum because there's a _real, honest to god_ rocket ship on display there. He is ultimately persuaded that the National American History Museum is a good place to start because his Uncle Spence says that there's the _real life_ Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street on display there. The green, trashcan dwelling muppet is practically a celebrity in the little boy's eyes, and seeing _the_ Oscar the Grouch certainly beats out looking at a space rocket (at least for now in Henry's mind.)

Henry sticks by his godfather most of the day, but it's completely fine with JJ because she's hardly been to any of these museums before (except maybe the National History Museum once when she was in college). It's nice to hear Spence tell them both in a quiet, yet clearly very passionate voice about each exhibit they visit, proving way more valuable than any tour guide and plaques on the wall combined. Henry seems just as entranced, is listening to every single word that comes from his godfather's mouth as if it's gospel. In those moments, it's as if the light in the young man's eyes return and JJ sees a glimpse of the Spence she remembers and loves so much.

They easily spend their entire day at the institution, only stopping twice to go get amazing, delectable food from the trucks lining around the center of the strip. The dark night sky paints the city in a brand new light, the monuments looking almost breathtaking with the minimal light shining on them.

(JJ's favorite part of the entire day is sitting in the indoor garden of the National Art Museum. There's soft piano music coming from the corner of the room, water trickling down from a fountain and flowing into a small koi pond just in the middle of the room. Henry spends twenty minutes there just staring in wonder at the fish, pointing out the ones he likes quietly to his mother. Spence looks at peace in the gardens as well, which is just a tiny bonus.)

She invites Derek over to watch a Nationals game with her and Henry on Sunday. Initially, it's kind of awkward, like there's a tension between them that's been there since Emily's funeral. Henry breaks it, though, when he sits beside Derek and begins to repeat everything his godfather had told him about baseball. Derek's eyes light up in amusement as the toddler speaks, stifling his laugh with extreme patience.

By the seventh inning of the game, what tension between JJ and him is eased significantly. They both are deeply into the game, Henry bouncing beside Derek on the couch as the batter hits the ball out of the park. He jumps up and shouts in excitement, his tiny hands shaking Derek's bicep. "Did you see that, Uncle Derek? Did you? Did you?"

All of the tension completely disappears at the nickname, Derek's smile wide. "Sure did, kiddo!" He uses his hand as if it were the ball, making a soft zooming noise as he reenacts the play in slow motion.

"Outta here!" Henry exclaims with the same enthusiasm as the announcers had done, hiding his giggles behind his hands. He squeals when Derek ruffles his hair, grins at the toddler.

JJ catches the man's eyes and gives a soft, reassuring smile. He pats her shoulder in response, the soft squeeze he gives her silently thanking her for her support.

Hotch calls her out of the blue, and while at first she's half tempted to hang up or leave him on voicemail right then and there, she accepts the call because she made a promise that she doesn't want to break. The call is almost professional, Hotch asking her how she's been and how she's adjusting to being back in the states. She answers him in short, complete sentences that make it seem like she's on a conference call and not having a conversation with a friend. It's horribly awkward and tense.

"JJ?" Hotch asks just before the call ends. His voice is soft, the hard professional tone she normally associates with him completely gone. "I'm sorry," he ends up adding after a long bout of silence. "For everything."

JJ's breath shudders, any resentment she still holds for the unit chief completely vanishing at his tone. "Me too," she adds just as softly. "Take care of yourself, okay, Aaron?"

"You do the same, JJ."

She ends the call feeling a bit lighter.

Rossi shows up at her doorstep two weeks after she gets home from the base.

Henry is passed out on the couch, Big Hero 6 still playing on the television screen. He's in his Spiderman footsie pajamas, covered in the thick comforter that usually hangs off the back of the couch. JJ looks up over at him from cleaning up a smear of vibrant blue frosting from the countertop, remnants of the cupcakes the two had decorated just before the movie started. She carefully places the rag back in the sink and washes her hands before walking over to her son and taking him up to bed.

She's halfway back down the stairs when she hears someone knock at her door.

Startled, she cautiously makes her way over to the security monitor on the kitchen counter, only slightly confused when she sees the eldest member of the BAU team standing outside her door. From the looks of things, it seems as if he had come straight off the jet and to her doorstep right after the most recent case.

He greets her with a soft smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. At her concerned expression, he flashes a more genuine smile, one that's more reassuring. "Nothing's wrong," he starts off softly. "May I come in?"

JJ sucks in a breath, nodding hastily. "Yeah. Yeah, of course." She steps back, pausing briefly before jabbing her thumb back towards the kitchen. "Can I interest you in a cupcake with neon blue frosting? Henry decorated them all by himself."

Rossi's chest rumbles with a chuckle, raising his hand in dismissal. "I'm sure they're delicious, but I'll have to pass this time around." He shakes his head with a polite smile when she gestures for him to sit. "I'm not going to take up too much of your time."

JJ nods hesitantly, sitting down on a wooden chair she placed there earlier (blanket forts) from the kitchen. Immediately, her fingers find the ring and twist it absentmindedly. It calms her nerves.

Rossi's eyes flick down only briefly at the gesture, gaze softer when he looks at her again. "How have you been?"

"Okay," she replies with a tilt of her head. "I mostly just spend my time trying to keep up with Henry."

"How's he?"

"He's great. He just learned to tie his shoes all by himself," she says with pride. "How about the team?"

Rossi shrugs slightly. "We manage. The last few cases have been a bit difficult since Ashley left."

JJ's eyebrows raise in surprise. "I had no idea she left," she admits quietly. "Is she okay?"

"She will be," Rossi says softly. "She had to step away from the job. I can't exactly blame her for it. Not everyone is cut out for what we deal with on a daily basis."

She silently nods in agreement. She knows what it's like, knows how challenging it can be in the unit. She can't fault Seaver for leaving. It's tough to deal with what the BAU have to.

"It's just... the four of you and Garcia now?" JJ questions.

"A position just opened," Rossi proposes, giving her a knowing look. "And we are looking for the best of the best to fill it."

She almost accepts his offer on the spot, the thought of coming back to the unit making her feel almost complete. She would have her old job back, would work with the same people she knows and trusts again, would work somewhere familiar and comfortable for her.

Yes, her job would take her away from Henry at times, but never for more than a few days and never outside of the country. Besides, she has to get back to work sometime, right?

"Can I think about it?" she ends up blurting out.

"Of course," Rossi assures her quickly. "I'm not looking for an answer right away, _bella_. I'm letting you know that the offer is there for you whenever you want it."

There's a brief pause.

"I'm in," she says with a nod, smile slowly spreading on her face. "I'll take it."

"You'll have to take the profiler's test," Rossi adds almost as a warning, but the glint in his eyes is playful.

It brings a grin to her face. "It's about time I get qualified for it anyway."

He holds his hand out. "I'll see you on Monday, then?"

She firmly shakes his hand, nodding firmly. "You'll see me on Monday."

**Author's Note:**

> äääääääääääääääääääääääääääää
> 
> i listened to abba’s dancing queen for like two hours straight and fleetwood mac’s dreams for another hour and a half after that while finishing up this series and my brain is completely shot bc of it


End file.
